The Bald One is a big music geek. He mostly favors the 80s, long haired rocking style but often can be found listening to all kinds of things. This means that when Megadeath and Iron Maiden were going to make a stop at the local outdoor amphitheater, he called up one of his buds and made a man-date.
This left me with two kids, several waking hours and bedtime to negotiate. “Call it a test run,” he shrugged and reminded me he will be going back to work at some point.
Here’s a glimpse of the craziness. First, this conversation after dinner has been cleared away:
Gummi Bear: I want a treat
Me: narrow the field a bit.
Gummi Bear: I want a treat.
Me: Narrow the field a bit.
Gummi Bear: I want a narrowthefieldabit
Me: What? That’s not a treat. What do you want as a treat?
Gummi Bear: I want a black treat.
Me: (gets a thin mint)
It gets later. I start fielding questions concerning where Daddy is, when is he coming home, why does Buddy Roo eat so much, why isn’t Buddy Roo sleeping. I explain that she needs to be quiet so Buddy Roo can sleep and then I can play with her before bedtime. What I get is “I want the boys to come home.” When told not to whine, she says she’s crying. When asked why she was crying, she says she’s whimpering. When asked why she was whimpering, she says she’s crying. Note: never does she explain why.
Finally, the herald of bedtime airs. Poppy Cat finishes, and Gummi Bear wants to go to bed. However, throughout the show she was bouncing on the couch and pestering her brother. Buddy Roo, for his part, keeps smiling and cooing at his sister.
Gummi Bear: I want to go to bed
Me: I can’t.
Gummi Bear: Why (whining)
Me: Buddy Roo isn’t asleep.
Gummi Bear: Why isn’t he asleep (whining, loudly)?
Me: You keep waking him up
Buddy Roo: (coo)
Five glorious minutes pass while Gummi Bear is distracted by things other than pestering her brother. He takes this as a cue to fall fast asleep. I can stand up and put him to bed. Fabulous. As I creep past the distracted preschooler, she notices.
Gummi Bear: Where are you going?
Me: To put him in his bassinet.
Gummie Bear: Can I come?
Me: No, I want him to stay asleep.
Gummi Bear: (pout)
Pesky kid. I do miraculously manage to get him down in his bassinet and adorably wrapped up. This means that I can go back to the preschooler, remind her that her bathtub fun needs to be not-so-epically loud since her brother is sleeping right on the other side of the wall and we get her ready for bed. This just happens to be the first time for me getting her to bed in about two months and I realize I miss the snuggles.
She’s completely drifted off and I’m trying to debate moving when I hear the screen door to her room open. The Bald One is home and came hunting us. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he timed that on purpose. Fink. The Bald One has reminded me the screen door sneak-in was a different event. This one, he did get home after I had managed to get her upstairs just after her bath. Still…fink.
For those wondering where the title came from, a kewpie doll is one of those (to me) scary scary dolls with the giant eyes and chubby cheeks. I incorrectly think of them as having eyes that will shut when you lay them down but are open when they are sitting up to play with you. Both of my children have this occasional fit where they do exactly the opposite of that – eyes closed if you’re holding them upright and then pop right open the second you try to put them down. By the time I put Buddy Roo to bed, we’d tried this “putting to bed” thing about a half dozen times.