Posted by: raesalley | January 20, 2006

Just not feelin’ it…

I am a regular. At a bar. Now this may sound oddly freaky to those of you who know me from high school (I don’t have time to have a social life other than Pizza Hut after pep band games for two and a half months) or to those who knew me in college (every week or so was a different reason to Keep it Real at Casa 109)…but I’m a regular at a dive bar in the most unlikely of places for a dive bar to exist (the centralized area of relocated yankees…nothing is low class there EXCEPT this bar). But today, for the first time in a while I felt like going…so I went. And regretted it the instant I walked in the door.

First off…their slightly new manager was an idiot and suggested that the karaoke folks would have an easier time with people and wouldn’t overshadow people at the bar trying to order if they were in the other room. The other room being the one with the better pool table & dart boards…as well as the best place to be to hear the karaoke, order a drink, smoke, play pool or carry on a conversation. What a fucked up idea, Mr. Manager. He also obviously has never had someone explain to him the physics of sound or set up a home theater system. Because the way they had to set up the speakers not only could you not speak anywhere near the set up…but pretty much anywhere in the bar but the far far corner. And then…the karaoke folks can’t see for shit who’s at the bar & if folks who signed up for something were still even around. And because of the way the bar is…the folks behind the bar could barely hear someone ordering in front of them…or the PA system with the karaoke. Fun, and superbly intelligent. Mr. Manager, next time…let other people who know their equipment tell you where they should best set up to make things good for you. Idjit.

Then, there were a few folks out that I haven’t seen in a while…but I can’t catch up because I can’t hear. The two people who left from the same place I was about ten minutes before I did hadn’t made it yet. The people who were likely to leave ten-fifteen after me didn’t show up for over a half hour. I wanted to tell the kitty the story about the grocery store run-in she wasn’t able to hear me until she sat on my lap. I wanted to hear about somebody’s weekend and her date…but I couldn’t because I couldn’t hear her even if I pinned her down for thirty seconds to ask if she at least had fun. I was miserable. And bored to tears. I tried dancing at one point, just for giggles…and that didn’t even thrill me.

So I left. Out into the cold crisp air of the night. I exchanged a few messages with D via phone and eventually decided to take off…because I hadn’t really said hi to anyone nobody was going to miss me for leaving. And if someone thought to ask, I told him to pass on my love & byes. I just didn’t want to be there for one more second. It’s sad realizing that a place that you had been attending for a while and become expected to be at no longer feels like a place you should be. Then, I got to get sad over so many other things on my way home and shoulda-beens. And then came the tears. I think I’m entering a hermit phase. Or going into hibernation late. Whatever it is…if someone you love says they’re thinking of taking off from somwhere you both are…the proper response is never “K – see you later”…especially if you know that later = hours when they’ll be completely asleep and your ass isn’t even going to wake up tomorrow when they leave for work. Even if you don’t know what’s going on in their head…you never know if that’s the thing that’s going to make everything worse.


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