I’ve stated this before to people, and they’ve always blamed my walk-away tendencies. This time, I’m serious.
I wanted pop tarts for breakfast. Well…brunch. So, I popped the suckers into the toaster oven, did some stuff around the kitchen keeping an eye on it and then went to start the VCR. See, there’s an hour left on the tape and I wasn’t sure if it was something I’ve seen or not. Turns out, it was SG: Atlantis. But I hadn’t heard the toaster go click so I go to look at it. Just in time to see the black smoke starting to come out of it. Yes…black smoke. The poptarts had both started to pass “toast” and gone to full on ignition.
I follow the directions that have never failed me before – unplug the sucker. The past two or three times this has happened it was because I put the toaster on too high and something else was going on – like the toast was too dry, there was something that was on the heating coil, it didn’t turn off when I opened the door to remove things and a crumb caught on fire…you get the picture. I quickly realize that things around the toaster oven are getting warm. Like a plastic bottle it quite toasty. Then, I notice that the pop tarts are acting as fuel for the fire and it won’t just burn out due to lack of oxygen. Damn. And I can’t just open the door and remove them into the quite nearby sink. I grab the bottle and half fill it with water, quickly open the door and THROW the water into the toaster oven. It puts out the fire but smoke billows out. I turn on the fan and douse the other pop tart (which is smoldering) just to make sure.
When I call the Bald One to tell him of the demise of our toaster oven (the guard for the top heating element is warped – yes, that hot). He tells me to move the damn thing out onto the front porch – because if it’s possessed, then it should really be possessed OUTSIDE instead of in my kitchen. I broke out the old two-slice toaster and toasted a pop tart.
Damn toaster oven.