You know how you get frustrated with something really really dumb and you want to grab the person driving you batty by the lapels and shake them? Yeah…it’s been that kind of week here. In honor of those moments… 13 Lapel Shaking Moments this week
1. *snap* That would be the sound of the photographer’s lens going off. We had publicity photos done a week ago…but one of the local papers wanted to send their own guy to shoot during dress rehearsal. Which, we wouldn’t agree to so instead we let him come to our final rehearsal before tech. Last night. And usually, I don’t care – I’m not in the photos because I’m in the back of the room writing things down and nobody cares about the SM. So here I am with my salad and my pencils shoved in my hair and watching the actors over my reading glasses…and I notice out of the corner of my eye the camera is pointed at the audience. At the director, who’s standing in his Rodan pose right behind my shoulder. Figures, the one day I don’t have make-up on….
2. “there’s no trunk in this scene” Groundplans are a necessity, not a luxury. In this show, I didn’t get any. Just a few sketches – of Act 1 & 3. Which means we were making up Act 2 as we went along and figured out what we wanted and where. In the middle of designer run, the set designer walks up to me (while I’m writing down a line note and keeping pace with the action to make sure we haven’t drifted blocking or are missing further lines and starts tapping my shoulder. When I hold up a finger for “just a minute” he starts tapping my script with the mini ground plan on it. “The trunk isn’t in this scene. And that’s the wrong chair. And that flat – which you didn’t know about – isn’t in this scene in that direction. Thanks. Tell me later.
3. “Well, she’s crazy but I’m on her good side” This is in reference to the woman who runs the Budget rental van company near the theater. Apparently we didn’t have a econovan size vehicle between the production team and we need to rent something to pick up some furniture. In order to do this, we had to have a 10 minute discussion on how the woman who rents the stuff might give us a discount, but she’s crazy.
4. The steaks This show has two steaks eaten onstage every performance. Two. Steaks. That’s a little pricey, especially in a small theater because it has to look realistic at a close distance. In a 300 seat house, white bread can be chicken; in 100 seat house pumpkin bread can look like meatloaf…in 75 seats, how do you fake steak? You don’t. We bribed a local cafeteria restaurant to donate 2 steaks / performance in return for ad space. Except, the props gal had to get her arm petted to get them. I really didn’t need that story. Especially since I’m the one who will be getting petted for the next four weeks.
5. This one time…. …at another theater… Our set designer is a wonderful, brilliant man. He has great connections for everything. He does good work. It’s just meetings can go on for a bit when there’s a story about everything. And he does have a story about everything.
6. How do I get this? I work with another department to manage their AV lending program in two different groups – high schools and community colleges. Each has their own form. Each has their own rules. One set is fairly good about things coming and going. The other side…well, we’re still trying to make that a good system. And because of that, we’re finding kinks. We tried to make things as easy as possible by creating a Word form that the instuctor fills out with dates. I had three requests from one school for the materials…and the form was the hardest part of the conversation
7. When is a Contact not a contact? When it’s a relationship. Imagine if you will knowing in your head that there are half a dozen ways to get a piece of information, all of which are fairly easy. Now try to explain to someone else all the different ways when you’re speaking Spanish and their native tongue is French. They might get it. They might not. But nobody’s really sure.
8. Coffee I’ve managed to find this an impossible task of late. I’ve programed the coffeemaker, filled it…and just forgotten to turn the damn thing on. Shaking me.
9. Our couch We ordered new cushions and such for our couch, chair and ottoman as our wedding present to us. I called on Monday asking if I could find out when they’d be delivered…I got no response because they had to look things up. They called on Wednesday asking what our zip code was. When I called them on Thursday to give it to them, they had already delivered all but one box to our home, but when I asked if they could tell me when it was being delivered I was told to call back after the six week mark.
10. Lines I’m working with a fantastic bunch of actors. I love them, they in turn appreciate the work I’m doing to give them line notes. But every once in a while when they’ve missed a line I’ve given them a note on for the past four nights straight…
11. wireless mouse I found out who to ask to get one…so now I have one at work. The reason I wanted one is my mouse is on the keyboard tray…which means I keep getting the cable forr the mouse snagged – on my shoe, on the chair, on everything and summarily yanking it to the ground. Not anymore! But the first time they plugged the receiver in? They plugged it so the cord was the exact same way the original mouse was. Brilliant!
12. Boys and injuries One of my friends/coworkers injured himself playing softball by catching the ball with his shin. It bruised, purpled and continued to hurt for two weeks…until he went to visit his parents and (presumably) was told to go to the hospital. The doctor informed him that if he had waited much longer, amputation would have been needed from that infected injury. Why can’t boys (generalization!) remember to go to the doctor!
13. MS Word It crashed, it took my resume that I had been making pretty for over two hours. For some reason, the backup saving feature hadn’t been working for the past three hours. All the edits…goodbye. Brat.
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