This is totally my kind of thing, too. Stolen (I will not discuss it).
1) List 20 things that you want to say to people, but never will.
2) Don’t say who they are.
3) Never discuss it again.
1) I think a well trained monkey can do your job better than you. Even if he throws feces.
2) Listen, I’d like my gd refund for my contacts now. Quit being a flippin’ idiot about it.
3) Stop. just stop. Everything. Including breathing.
4) My office is not a hallway. Stop treating it as such.
5) I might never forgive myself for the words I said.
6) I dated you because it was easier than not. Now I regret everything except meeting him because of you.
7) He isn’t everything you think he is, stop wishing I was with him.
8) Quit answering my phone. Answer the general line. Everything else is MY PHONE.
9) Please learn basic computer programs.
10) Just because they’re important to you means I should give a shit.
11) Get over yourself. Seriously.
12) If I wanted to be treated like I’m an outsider of a clique, I’d transport back to fifth grade.
13) Yes I have a fuckton of debt. But at least I’m paying mine off.
14) Yes I like living in NC, partially because it’s so far from you.
15) Maybe we shouldn’t work together if you’re going to be so high maintenance about it.
16) I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. Quit asking.
17) I’ll get skinny when I get there. Until then, I’ve got a bit else to do with my life.
18) I’ll never live up to your dreams for me. Mostly, because I’m living my life and not yours.
19) Yes, I happen to be gifted on top. If I dress that way and it’s provocative, it’s because of my figure, not because of the top. I don’t see you complaining about skinny flat chested girls wearing more revealing stuff.
20) I miss our friendship.