I’ve been feeling…stagnated. Part of it is this whole lack-of-job thing. Which leads to the lack of meaningful employment issue. Neither of which is going to be solved overnight, and I’m doing everything in my power to change that. Well, maybe not everything. I haven’t tried any ritual work yet. That’s next on my to-do list.
But a friend’s reading got me thinking about a few other things. And some other thoughts have been bouncing around in my head. So I’ve started working on a few things around the place.
There’s a website called FlyLady that several of my friends online havediscovered and confessed a deep abiding love for the simplistic and directed paths do cleaning and balancing life. While some of it drives me insane (some of the Christian motivation, the simplistic colorings, the life-coach style pep talks), she does have a fabulous way for breaking down the house and trying to keep it ordered and sensible methods of attack if you’ve had a house get out of control. I just can’t attack it the way she does…but the lady makes great lists. Sure, I can do a fifteen minute fling where I run around and quickly pick up…but what I can’t do is take the babystep approach to getting my house clean. It first has to be cleaned from top to bottom and then kept there before I can start de-cluttering. And I can’t do both at the same time. My brain doesn’t fire that way.
Oddly, this approach works for me. It’s very calming to surface clean and then look out on the clean surfaces knowing that there’s chaos lurking just below those surfaces, being kept in my clean counters. And once the house has been restored to its dust free, vacuumed state of being, then I’ll be traveling with my trusty timer to sort, toss, store and sell various parts of our house. Things that have been moved and displayed because they should be instead of we want them to be. It’s too warm to work outside, so this is helping me redefine who and what I am. Figuring out the places and nooks makes me feel centered. Odd, but it works.
And while I’m doing this, I’m putting my thoughts in order. My mental self is sorting, tossing and storing various thoughts and processes. The whole state of being unemployed (or actually, under employed since being an independent contractor does bring in money – just not a lot). I’m figuring out what I like about myself, what these objects tell me about myself and why I’m keeping some things that make no sense to me but yet seem fit to take up space in my home/my self. Who am I? Why am I clinging to that definition of self? is it really who I am?
But right now, I’m just cleaning house.