Posted by: raesalley | September 21, 2008


I have a very outgoing nature. Luckily, so does my husband. It’s a regular source of amazement to people that we have our own lives that are completely separate from each other. He has his nights out with his metal friends where they listen to music at deafening volumes and consume beer. Meanwhile, I’ll be out at a show or having a drink with the cast of whatever show I’m currently working. Sometimes our lives intersect and I see a concert or he gets trotted out and shown off at an opening night. People are then reminded that the person we wear a ring for does, in fact, exist. Most of the time, it’s forgotten.

Not to say that neither of us loves the other, or that we’re in a marriage of convenience. Anything but. Our mutual friends know that we have an excellent partnership and deeply love each other. The people who don’t know us, however, are completely unaware of this fact and often just see the very friendly, outgoing personality that we both have around the rest of the world. And that, more often than not, has gotten us in a bit of a misunderstanding.

We’ve both been propositioned. We’ve both had people threaten to tell the other about seeing us hug/kiss someone else. We’ve both gotten strange looks for being out with a member of the opposite sex that wasn’t our spouse. Take tonight – he’s out at a metal show with J-bird & I went to see an RSC show with Nikolai. We both had a great time, but someone else might think something is fishy.

Because of this behavior, I often can be completely and totally blind to it when it is coming from someone else. Blame it on the industry, but when you have friendly people who come by to check in on you – you don’t think anything of it. Why should it – we’re all a friendly bunch. I just started a new show and I’m already having serious non-show discussions with the director, whom I’ve met just twice before.

I was amused when one of my coworkers pointed out a possible attraction in the workplace. I shrugged it off with a “they’re both married, nothing would come of it” but now I’m wondering what else I’m missing and what signs are misinterpreted. There’s all kinds of rumor surrounding my predecessor, even after a year…so I wonder what else I’m missing. And if I’m really missing anything.



  1. “There’s all kinds of rumor surrounding my predecessor, even after a year…so I wonder what else I’m missing. And if I’m really missing anything.”

    Answer: You’re not missing anything worth catching. While I understand the urge to gossip with people, I also think that you can get the same gratification from soaps. Or BSG. Or Stargate. Or any other TV show in which human interaction and the occasional romance take place. When you gossip about fictional characters nobody gets hurt. Gossip about real people can ruin perfectly happy lives.

  2. I’m so with you on this. Heck, I missed BOTH JJ and Scott hooking up AND breaking up until they brought it to my attention. I’m sure there’s a ton of stuff going on at the Dish that I don’t know about even though I’m there ALL THE TIME just because the behavior doesn’t set off my “weird” radar. In fact, I generally get more worried when someone says they’re NOT interested in going out with someone else ’cause then what sort of freaky co-dependent thing do you have going on?

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