I need to write more, I think. I started writing over at Heroes & Heartbreakers about my reading habits, but that may not be enough. I have all these thoughts swirling and I realize that my usual sources to talk may not always relate, or have time, or I don’t want to bother them with my insanity. And today, I believe, falls in the insane portion.
We had a weather something last night. It slushed while we were working on a staged reading in the early evening. I drove home through slush and fat, wet flakes. The Bald One went off to work while I put Gummi Bear to bed, only to wake up 2 hours later to coughing and crying. Only to wake 4 hours later to get ready for an early meeting, where there was a promise of coffee.
The coffee, due to a weather delay, never materialized. The hour-long meeting turned in to two. To be fair, once I was told what they needed me for and saw the open schedule after me, I knew we would go over the time. Unfortunately, I was doing it on less than awesome sleep and even less awesome coffee. In the meeting I was giving a high level overview on a project I have been chipping away at for the past six months. This was being discussed after I brought it up in a different meeting and it was realized that my project crossed and fed other projects. This meeting is something that may be launched, phase 1, in late third quarter.
As I am standing there, discussing my current timelines and theoretical deliveries for my pieces and they are pointing out what pieces they need, and where it is needed, I realize nobody is aware in the room that I will be out most of third quarter. Due to lack of caffeine, I drop that piece in a probably less than stellar manner. There is some blinking and some obvious tabling of that thought process as we carry on with what we actually need to accomplish other things.
It isn’t until afterwards that my brain really starts to think about everything that is involved in this project. First, there’s the review of the existing requirements and making sure that everything I have stated is true and necessary. Then there is an approval process, followed by finding someone to do all the work. And once that entity is found, I need to work with them to develop it and work internally to make sure that once it exists that everyone understands why we are doing it, how it will work and making sure that what will exist actually in fact will work. To put it succinctly, I need to create something out of nothing and fundamentally change an organizational culture.
Or, as my mother put it: isn’t that what you have your master’s degree in?
There’s a school of thought that focuses on the fact individuals who spend to long in academia forget how the real world works without regularly getting out into said world and doing a practical application of their work. Similarly, one would think that after a considerable amount of time has passed between academia and professional life that one may forget how to go back to the building blocks. Also, while one may have done well enough in academia working on theory and discussing why things work or why this did not work, the practical application of it for the first time can be slightly terrifying. It is why usually folks start with small steps and then build to larger and larger applications of theory.
So my Friday ended with me wishing fervently for the ability to go home to a quiet house, pour myself a glass of wine and turn off my brain. Instead, I went to the theater, indulged in a cheeseburger and excellent sweet potato fries before turning the lights on and off for a staged reading. Later, if I’m lucky, the part of my brain that freaked out over the application at this level will be calmed that everything went okay. Worst thing that could happen? It doesn’t work at all and we have to start over again. The likelihood is slim, and that’s what the freaking out part of my brain needs to realize. Minor failures are fixable, and we do that fairly often around here.