Posted by: raesalley | May 10, 2015

#100DaysOfRA! 5/9&10 D31&32

Happy Anniversary to me and my Bald One. In getting ready to say something mushy (on Facebook – sigh) about the fact that we’ve married for nine years I realized that in that nine years we have been through quite a bit. I’ve been unemployed, he’s been unemployed twice, we bought a house, had two kids, changed our entire lives around because of said tiny people who now rule everything. We’ve lost a cat and we’ve seen family die – both expected and unfortunate. But we’ve been there together through it all.

We celebrated by being off together for forty-eight hours (woohoo!) and running errands. One of those errands involved getting our cake slice from the restaurant we had our post-wedding dinner. As usual, it was a delicious sugar rush that went very quickly due to two tiny people helping us eat.

Next year we might do something splendid, since it will be a nice solid ten years of married life.

Posted by: raesalley | May 8, 2015

#100DaysofRA! – Kindergarten Prep

Yesterday, I couldn’t talk about it since I was totally distracted by the fantastic-ness of food trucks. Plus, part of me was in Denial (no longer a river in Egypt!). That Denial is related to the fact that Gummi Bear starts Kindergarten.

It must be true, as the Bald One took her to her Kindergarten Orientation. Not that she remembers it five minutes after it happened, but she went. And she’s looking forward to the insanity, because they have a blue slide for her to play on. No other reason, although I have a feeling that she doesn’t know about the Lego play room that they use for the STEM portion of the curriculum.

I’m looking forward to her taking this next step. She needs a bigger challenge than just seeing how she can out-smart her brother. I’m also looking forward to her getting up and getting ready even though it means that my world is about to go crazy since my morning routine (where I barely can get myself organized and out the door) is about to go through a fundamental shift. To that end, she’s starting to get up and have breakfast with me. So far (on day two), she’s doing well. We’ll see how she holds out.

Posted by: raesalley | May 7, 2015

Day job perks…


I often miss my theater career and the crazy hours and fun of it all. I decided a long time ago to live here and accept the fact that I would need a day job to live the life I wanted if I wanted to be here and do theater. And when Gummi Bear and Buddy Roo came on the scene, forcing me to take the Mommy Track in theater and take a few years off, I take solace in the fact that my day job has some of the same elements that I love in theater.

The day job definitely had its perks: 401k, travel,  insurance and a decent paycheck top the list. But every once in a while they do something ridiculously fun. Today,  lunch is free & in the form of a food truck rodeo. I’m going to have the best balls in the Triangle. Thanks day job.

Posted by: raesalley | April 30, 2015

Stormy skies

imageThe view just made me happy. I’d look in my rearview mirror and I’d see all the stormy skies behind me…I was hopeful, it felt like the grey skies were past us and we were looking into a bright future with sunshine, blue skies and giant fluffy white clouds.

What really happened was I sat in traffic that felt like it would never end before reaching my home to pick up Gummi Bear prior to her weekly gymnastics fun. Once at gymnastics, you could feel the pressure change and see the sky getting darker all around as the kids tumbled through their classes. Several classes finish up around seven, and as the boys and girls gathered their shoes and water bottles the skies opened up. Gummi Bear and her class were still in the foam block pit where they end all their classes as the rain battered the roof. Instead of their usual waiting for dismissal as a class, each one was released to their waiting parent the second they emerged from the foam with a sticker and flyer in hand.

Gummi Bear and I sat, waiting for the torrents to slow outside and make it so we could at least see our way to the car. When it finally started to lighten a bit, I remembered we could go out the back door since I parked, for once, at that end of the gym. This only involved us being in the wet for brief moments, instead of having to ford a small lake in the parking lot and run uphill in my soft sided shoes and her crocs. We drove carefully home, watching the puddles fly up as other cars flew by and then ran quickly to our front door.

But looking at this photo, you’d never believe the storm that came or the rainbow that followed.

Posted by: raesalley | April 28, 2015

Day 20/21 — Some Introspection…

As we wrap up the month that my girl was born, I think about one of the thoughts I heard on a podcast I listen to regularly. The discussion was related to movies involving the YA/NA  / coming-of-age genre. It’s an interesting media group, one that I regularly read, because it is focusing on a major crossroads for the main characters. It’s the point in life where you’re finally starting to make decisions for yourself and one of the big focusing factors is the difference between intentional family and real family.

How many different books or movies do you see where one of the characters has to have a terrible upbringing – absentee or abusive parents, usually – but still turns out to be normal due to the folks that step up and raise the child and become the surrogate parents? Or, more often, there’s the kid that is always going over to their friends place and chooses that family over their “flesh & blood”? More often with the YA/NA genre you’ll see that the characters as they step out into adult-hood select their friends over or in addition to their family. This network of friends (or family of friends) becomes the intentional family for the individual.

The intentional family can be for reasons other than crappy family life – sometimes you are looking for people who are close to your ideological base or sociological values. Other times there is a perception of the individual of having come from a different socioeconomic stratus than the family actually resides and as the individual comes into their own, they want to be with those they feel more comfortable being around.

One of the comments I heard most when I was pregnant is “oh my – how ever are you going to live with yourself, depriving your child of her grandparents?” or some variant of that. It’s true, my children are two or a ten hour drive from their biological grandparents. That doesn’t mean that they don’t have adequate older generation role models. Our closest friends, who we refer to as our daughter’s godparents, have their parents (and step parents) close and these five individuals have stepped up to fill a void at times. But my children do travel well and still see their actual grandparents. But increasingly I see that we have a very strong intentional family around us that fills all the spaces that might have been filled by extended blood relations – Sunday dinners, holiday plans and occasional babysitters among other things. So I don’t feel they’re missing out, I think they’re gaining

Posted by: raesalley | April 27, 2015

Real (estate) discussions

Following on the meeting yesterday with the painters, we’re continuing to dip our toe into the whole idea that we’re going to have to move. (Can you tell I really don’t want to accept this concept?) For today’s toe-in-the-water, we had a meeting with a real estate agent.

I started the discussion on a shallow, low commitment email via Zillow to a real estate agent who has had a number of sales in our area. I blatantly said we’re not selling right now, but we know we’re going to have to sell in the next two years and to that end, we want a professional to take a look at our place and let us know where to focus our energies. And, when we are ready to sell, well, you’ll have first dibs if we all like each other.

I’m not home (stupid work) when she arrives, but she walks around the house with the Bald One taking looks at the outside first. There’s nail pops on the siding, trim work that needs painting, gutters need cleaning and the patio is gorgeous. The yard looks low maintenance but well done. The front porch needs an overhaul (already scheduled). Then she steps in the house, and asks how many cats we have (three). We really need to clear out the cats and all the odor related to them to not make people leave the second they walk in. Part of that would be removing the remaining carpets and checking the duct work through the house, which were both planned in the next two years. Oddly, she loved the flooring we have replaced and had no idea that it was laminate. Next on her hit list were some easy, understood things: we have too much stuff, and too much personal stuff on the walls. When we take it all down, we’ll likely want to paint the entire place. The rustic-feel of the exposed bricks and the laminate are lovely and charming, but the kitchen needs a bit of work with an updated dishwasher and hinges. The master bath vanity should be redone, which unfortunately means the flooring needs to be done.

The good news is almost everything she mentioned is something we were planning on dealing with ourselves in the next 18 months or so. Now we just have to do it, figure out what we want in a new house, and begin the paring down of all the things. Wish us luck, please.

Posted by: raesalley | April 26, 2015

Paint Shop Boys

I live in a quirky house. I love my quirky house. It’s older (30+ years), it has character, it isn’t a standard square and it has a lovely arrangement of rooms that don’t allow for a single baby gate. There are stairs all over the place, a master bedroom that is sort of public, but sort of private. The room we originally used as a nursery was at the top of the stairs and we’d just see Gummi Bear peaking out of her crib at us when we’d come to the bottom of the stairs. With the backyard patio we’ve added, the landscaping that has been done and the plants coming into bloom in the spring it is a lovely getaway from the world. Add to the fact that we are within walking distance of two decent parks, a quiet neighborhood and minutes away from shopping or downtown and you’d think we have an ideal place.

Then we had a second child. If we had stopped at the first one, we might have been okay. But we wanted two kids, and thus we outgrew our house. At least we can toss the older one in the backyard to run around, but since Buddy Roo has issues with self-preservation we can’t throw them both outside to play. Add to that the amount of rain we’ve had of late and it gets a little confining.

Because of this, the Bald One and I have realized that we need to look at getting ready to sell. See how I eased myself into that thinking? We’re not really there yet, are we…it’s just, to better position ourselves we need to do a few things. And who says we can’t enjoy it while we have it? Like the back patio, it needed to be fixed or replaced and now it is a lovely place to sit and read or have dinner with friends. The flooring that was also done last spring feels great, cleans up well and was a lovely change from the evil Berber carpet. The next logical outdoor step is painting, maybe. And since we have no idea what we’re doing there, maybe we should talk to someone about what that entails.

Enter a bright-eyed college junior running a small business under a larger umbrella. He comes into our kitchen, talks with us about options and finds out who we are and what we’re looking for. He walks around and talks about what he sees (peeling spots here, not much of an issue there, bare untreated wood that will need two coats) and goes off to crunch numbers. We decide painting really isn’t the priority compared to a few other things (like getting our HVAC to behave), but the bare wood really should be painted to fit in with everything else. He breaks it down for us, and he gets a check with the promise to visit in a few months to go over specifics of color and schedule with the hopes of being able to get us to sign on for painting the rest of the house.

But that feels like a commitment. A step towards an unknown future house for us and different owners for this quirky little place. Hopefully they’ll love it too.

Posted by: raesalley | April 25, 2015

#100DaysofRA! D12-17 / 0420-25

Look! Another batch update on my crazy life.

One of the big things over the last week that has been fantastic and terrible has been the great purging that is happening. We have so many storage corners scattered around the building that it makes it easy to become a hoarder. Add to the high turnover in some roles and you have either people dumping entire desks of materials into a corner to never be seen again or (my favorite) the purchasing of office supplies that nobody knows are in existence. Add to that the complete disinterest in something so un-sexy as archiving and purging and you have overflowing closets of stuff. Some of the calls were very easy to make (look – a thing to be used in front of customers with wrong logos! pitch!) while others were very complicated (these files that nobody knows about? what about these slides? or these VHS tapes? what about the actual slide projector?). It was dirty, sweaty, dusty work that ate up about a third of my work week. The only thrill is that we cleared out so many racks of stuff and found other places to store the actual stuff we need to keep by throwing out more stuff. Now I just need to clean out my desk.

On the household front, I got to be indignant on the invisible girl problem. Black Widow kicks butt, and yet she gets dropped from clothes and toys. Sabine & Hera is missing from some of the associated toy lines for Star Wars Rebels. The only bright spot is the launch of the DC SuperHeroes stuff that will be focusing on the girls. Gummi Bear loves the super hero movies and watches Once Upon a Time for the girls, so it would be nice if she could express her geek-love without having to go to fan-developed merchandisers

There were two other big-deal things this week that we tackled around the place: dryer repair and registration for a 5k. First, the boring part: I lucked out and married a guy who knows his way around a power drill. There are many things I am perfectly capable of doing as a girl, but usually when electricity gets involved, I get a little out of my comfort zone. The Bald One however took apart the dryer, discovered what wasn’t working and replaced it, before discovering something else also wasn’t working and replaced that as well. We now have dry clothing again and life is good. The 5k I picked is part of the Color Run and I have until October to get to the point I won’t make a fool of myself. Part of the allure of this race in particular is the fact that it is set right near my office. This means that I can practice the route before the big day. I’m actually looking forward to getting covered in color and glitter, it should be a blast.

Posted by: raesalley | April 19, 2015

#100DaysofRA! D5-11 / 0413-19

My accountability kinda sorta sucks. I’d like to blame everything from day job and small people to the world in general, but I know part of it is I can find five minutes to do just about anything except the sitting and writing of doing things. So what have I been doing? getting grey hairs, mostly.

Buddy Roo is at that age where he is hellbent on self-destruction. You can say it is second child syndrome, you can say it is life with a boy, but the reality of the situation is that we have a boy who has no fear of gravity, blood or injury. He started this week by climbing out of his crib. A crib that is already on the lowest setting. This was facilitated by the stuffies hanging out in his crib, so those may be leaving.

The next part of the week was spent getting ready for the invasion of the grandparents. They were coming into town to see Gummi Bear’s gymnastics class. That was entertaining, since they’d never seen her do what she does. In our usual strange relationship, I can’t quite understand what happens but my mother loves to do her research about what her daughter or grandchildren are up to by asking friends and describing how someone else is better.

The weekend started with a bang as Buddy Roo dealt with his congestion (likely from allergies) by projectile puking over my bed. He didn’t feel any better hours later, so off to the doctor we went. It was deemed likely allergies, given a dosing amount and sent on our way. Luckily the girlie was entertained by her grandparents taking her to movies and to shopping and then we all introduced them to Menchies for frozen yogurt. The next day, they headed out and I spent the day binge watching Game of Thrones.

The big fun of the week was taking advantage of Michael’s framing to frame up the Doctor Who Squares I acquired at WizardCon. Not that I know where those are going. Or if they’re even going up any time soon, but that’s a whole different story.

Posted by: raesalley | April 12, 2015

Weekend Workings

Yesterday, I baked a cake. Today, I helped my girl make a kaleidoscope. Such is the crafty work of a mom on a weekend.

I got a phone call from one of my cousins early on Thursday, asking if they could stop by on Saturday. We turned that into an impromptu birthday party. I owed my girl a cake, since her mid-week birthday kinda didn’t allow for it. This also meant that we really did have to clean our downstairs, a task we had planned on doing but hadn’t really committed to doing because “eh, we’ll get there.” Amazingly, the cake was finished frosting (barely) and the house was clean before folks showed up. Granted, it wasn’t SFZ level clean, but I don’t think that will happen until I can get a housekeeper, kids to stop making messes at every chance or the kids to actually help with the cleanup. It was presentable if not perfect, everyone was outside for most of it anyway and the kids had a great time.

I remembered that I hadn’t done a write up. I had done one in my head (and taken the picture) on Friday, but needed to get that posted.

Today’s project was a little more fun, and a bit belated and a bit overdue. My parent’s bought Gummi Bear a kaleidoscope kit when they were at the Northern shore. After being babied by the Kiwi Crate kits that contain everything you may need, I forgot I might need things to put this together. It took a few attempts to remember to get out the glue before Buddy Roo had his nap, but once we did, it was easy peasy to put it together. The finished result was fantastic and now a precious little thing for the girl. I forgot how fun kaleidoscopes were to make. The last time I made one was in high school, for my geometry class. It was a last minute mess, but it was fun. I still have mine in my craft closet.

The spring being sprung has been lovely for feeling creative and getting back to basics. Last weekend we planted seeds in pots and now there are small pumpkin sprouts and bean sprouts peeking out of the dirt. Soon tomatoes, peas, carrots and peppers will follow. Small measures of home, like the cleaning downstairs and friends being over, provide a nice foundation for the future.

A few more little things to hang and a few more dead plants to remove and we’ll be in a good foundation for what comes next.

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